At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
