nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
