My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
