no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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