My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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