you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
