I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
