the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
