i would punch a child for taco bell
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
