there was a trapeze. enough said
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We just shotgunned beers for America
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
