I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
