She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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