dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
