if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
