o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
