I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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