But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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