I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
