Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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