In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
