it hurts more in the daytime
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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