I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
