So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
try to milk me bitch
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
