I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
