There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
