I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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