he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
