swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
