ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
