we have officially lost it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
