i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
