I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
