I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
