he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
