No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
