I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
