i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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