if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
