Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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