I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
