i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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