I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
