I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
