im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
