Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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