Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
