Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
