Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
