Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
