i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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